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Dyslexia Parents: The Story of a Dyslexic Parent
Comment on this Talk
Bella on 26/05/2010
As a parent of an 8yr dyslexic child, I found your advice very helpful. There have been so many sleepless and tearful nights wondering what was happening to my child before we found out it was due to dyslexia. It breaks my heart to see my child struggle but we're taking it one day at a time. I know that he can be successful and your words gave me hope. Thank you.
About this talk: Sara Kramer (the parent of a dyslexic child) provides an insight into the experience of dyslexia parents. She describes how parents should evaluate the courses of action available after a child is diagnosed with dyslexia.
About the speaker: Sara Kramer is a licensed Davis Facilitator. She first came across the Davis Methods in 2001 after she discovered that her son, then eight years old, was dyslexic. After going through a difficult period of trying to find a solution for him, discovering the Davis Method was a revelation and an obvious answer to his difficulties. She now works privately in South West London and with adults in their place of work.
Talk Topics - Dyslexia
Further information about this Talk
Talk Transcript:
It is many years now since my son was diagnosed as dyslexic, but I still have a clear memory of the roller-coaster of emotions that you experience in the weeks that follow the diagnosis.
On the one hand, it is a relief to find out why your child is struggling at school. But, on the other hand, it comes with the realisation that your sparky child with his quirky sense of humour has been labelled 'disabled'. This is difficult to reconcile and somehow it shakes your own confidence as a parent - how had I so misunderstood?
Like many parents, I coped by launching myself into the support programme recommended by the school. I didn't think to ask what options were available or question whether this particular method was the right one for my son. Consequently we battled every morning to progress through an ill- suited remedial programme.
I wish that I had known then, what I know now. And I wish that someone had made me aware that there were different choices available and that my gut feeling was as valuable as the expert advice I was given.
My advice to you is:
- Take your time
- Do your own research
- and trust your instincts.
Start by talking to your child's teachers and find out what they have observed. If your child is responding well, then those methods suit your child. If your child is older than 8 or 9, and is still struggling to learn to read, consider a different approach.
This may seem a daunting task, so it is important to be clear about your child's goals. Discuss them with your child and listen to him. Is now the right moment and is he ready to take responsibility for his learning?
It is also important to understand his thinking style. Most people use both visual and verbal thought but the dyslexic thinking style is usually strongly visual. It is a unique characteristic of dyslexia and it is what gives your child his quick-silver thought process.
But it will also explain why your child is likely to stumble over the small abstract words on the page. Do you find that he can read tyrannosaurus with ease (that one is easy to picture in your mind) but falters at if (which has no picture)?
These abstract words can cause huge difficulties with reading comprehension.
Try it yourself. Imagine you read the sentence 'the horse jumped over the gate'? Can you see the horse?
Now try 'yesterday, the horse jumped over the gate'. Did your picture change?.... Possibly not. There is obviously an important difference in meaning but it is a difficult one for a visual-thinker to process.
Once you understand your child's thinking style, you can work out what learning methods will work well for him.
.
My son's story has a happy ending as we found the right solution for him . I met someone who told me about a dyslexia correction programme that her son was following and it resonated with me. The underlying principles were so obviously right for my son that it was clearly the right thing to do.
But each child is unique and not every child will benefit from the same approach. There is a wide range of options available now.
It is worth getting hold of one of the many books available that give an overview of dyslexia treatment programmes. When Your Child has Dyslexia by Abigail Marshall has a comprehensive overview of the main approaches.
Combine your knowledge with the specialist advice available and look for help that builds on your child's strengths. Consider whether you want a person-centered, explorative approach or a remedial one.
I am not suggesting that it is easy. There is no silver bullet.
But once you find the right learning method for your child and if your child is ready to change, he will fly.
That's the wonderful thing about the dyslexic mind - it has this extraordinary capacity to achieve.
For us, the change came as we, as a family, began to understand what it means to be dyslexic and how the positive aspects can be used to overcome the difficulties. Eventually you will realise that your child is who he is BECAUSE of his dyslexia - and you wouldn't have it any other way.
So, don't forget that your knowledge of your child is as important as 'expert' advice in identifying the right intervention strategy for him.
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What to Watch Next
The Emotional Side of Dyslexia: Dr Lindsay Peer provides a view of the emotional difficulties associated with dyslexia. She also gives some consideration as to how to cope.
Negative Self Talk: Jenny Foster gives an insight into how negative self talk can impact children. She describes how a loss of confidence can undermine a child's ability to learn and fulfil his or her potential, especially if they are struggling with a learning difficulty such as dyslexia.