dysTalk Bumping Into Others - Dyspraxia - Forum - dysTalk

Hello. Does anyone have any ideas how to help my child at school? She keeps bumping into other children ... everyone including the teachers are becoming quite annoyed.

04/10/2010 14:10:57
Heidi (Member)

being dyspraxic myself and not a parent, not sure i can suggest much but is your daughter diagnosed? In which case the teacher is showing real ignorance if they are just getting annoyed with her. Kids are like sponges and sensitive to others finding her annoying, the best thing they can do is accept her as she is.

At least you care enough to post on here and your first sentence includes a desire to help your child. Accepting her as she is will be the most important and helpful thing your can do. And not just inside yourself, but let her KNOW who and how she is is ok and valuable. It's not obvious to children, especially those with any sort of disability, the way it is to most adults. You can feel all the affirmation and pride in her in the world but she won't realise unless you tell her. I wish my parents had told me - i only just learned that they felt it the whole time.

I don't know if this is helpful with the spatial awareness, other experts on here may have better advice, but without any support (diagnosed aged 33, two months ago) I worked out that diving myself an extra frame of reference helps - so i often walk by a wall if i can and put my hand out regularly.

or using something else to balance (my umbrella often doubles as a walking stick) - i think it helps my brain locate where my body is in relation to everyone else. I still bump into stuff though if in a crowded place, as other people do not make allowances when its busy, or raining, or getting late or whatever. At home I put my hands out to furniture and doorframes and pause as i pass through them to stop myself walking into them.

It's probably harder for kids who have lots of energy to think to slow down in certain places. However I think the main obstacles for your daughter are the attitudes of those around her, and I wish I could talk to her teachers and tell them what it's like to be a dyspraxic child and be expected to be like everyone else. That does more harm than anything else.

there's a book by amanda kirby i think it is, with suggested games and exercises for children to do, that can actually improve the coordination issues, since the brain is still developing, some 'rewiring' is possible. And persist, because once we're adults the ability to actually improve the functioning is much less and it's more about managing what is. Good luck!

She is lucky to have you. If you would like to be in touch you can email me, or find me on facebook.

every blessing,

Jo x

04/10/2010 18:47:39
ophelia77uk (Member)

To Jo: Thank you responding. I am so grateful to talk with someone who actually has dyspraxia.

I like the idea of using the wall as support. Currently they have her holding a box when she is outside and a tray in the classroom. I can't imagine that this is the best ''cure'' for the situation as she will not always have a box or tray with her. My daughter is 10 and was diagnosed about 3 months ago.

I know my daughter is smart. I do tell her all the time, but I feel like I am always fighting a battle. A battle against dyspraxia and a battle against the schools. When she started school, the school had me put her back a grade. Then by the first grade, she was very unhappy and work was very hard...she was having problems with her short term memory. Somehow though, I knew she could do it despite all the issues she was having. I pulled her out of school and homeschooled her for 3 years and got her back to grade level. We repeated much of her work until it went into her long term memory. Now she was lonely so I put her back into school and the problems with her memory are coming back...any ideas.

Last question and it is personal...were you ever accepted by your peers? If not, what would have made you feel better? What could your parents have done to help you? My heart goes out to my daughter because I know she feels alone.

Thank you, again.

Heidi

05/10/2010 14:31:16
Heidi (Member)

Heidi, bless you...

no, i was never accepted by my peers at school, but they picked on the obvious things about me like being overweight. I think teachers assumed my ineptness at sport was due to this also and a lack of self confidence - they must have known how the other children treated me, even though they did nothing about it, perhaps they were unable to act without proof.

Whereabouts is the world are you? It would probably do her the world of good to meet other dyspraxic kids or any others with specific learning disabilities. There are a lot of support groups for kids and their parents out there (stuff all for adults though, so far the one thing i found has links that no longer work, its probably out of date). She probably has particular strengths as well, and a way to meet other kids AND do something she's good at will probably help.

Hmm, I would like to say, i would be happy to talk to your daughter or listen if she would like to know a grown up who has survived being a dyspraxic child. She will have gifts that others do not have. She is a blessing. But that won't be much comfort, being ten, and standing out like a sore thumb from other ten year olds!

But I know how careful parents must be with their kids on the internet :( so I don't expect you to take me up on the offer...

The Dyscovery Centre in Newport is meant to be really good? And the dyspraxia foundation has a lot more for kids, there are parent support groups listed n there.

Googling for myself, there'5s lots for children.

I check my email most days, more than i remember to come on here... ophelia77uk @ googlemail. com

without the spaces...

also willing to chat on facebook...

every blessing, Jo x

10/10/2010 18:57:31
ophelia77uk (Member)

oh, and the tray and the box is for what? To make her visible to others?

That sounds like stigmatising rather than helping, the last thing she wants is to stand out even more, it sounds like a mobile dunce's corner to me, i would hate it! Let me get in her school for five minutes and bang some heads together!!

oh dear, i probably sound really dodgy. I forget sometimes that genuine concern and love for people is a cause of suspicion, especially if its children. My police check just expired but it was clear!

10/10/2010 19:24:31
jo Bull