dysTalk Mum Dad Im Im Im Dyslexic My Story - Dyslexia - Forum - dysTalk

As a recent university graduate, I have had time to reflect on my time in both secondary and higher education and my dyslexia. As my formal education has ended, I now feel a real sense of the troubles and in fact the loneliness I felt during those times and still do now as a graduate trying to find a good job.

Like many dyslexics, I have always struggled with all aspects of English but as I achieved high grades in school my teachers thought nothing of it, that I was just a ‘late developer’ when it came to spelling, grammar and sentence structure. I will always remember my history teacher telling my mother at parents evening that I was a “genius that couldn’t spell.” However, my mother (also a teacher) and I always believed that I had an inherent problem with English since I was in primary school, but as I achieved two B’s in English GCSE, along with my teachers we thought maybe it wasn’t as bad as we thought.

However, when I reached sixth form the standards seemed to rise considerably, talk of university, UCAS, longer essays, independent study all frightened the hell out of me! I felt the intense and close support I had had from my teachers during the GCSE years would simple vanish and I would be left to figure out how to jump to the next level when it came to essays and exam techniques. Through my two years in sixth form no teacher really identified my overall problem with writing and especially spelling, as the content of my essays and arguments were pretty sound. Luckily the one thing that enabled me to succeed during my GCSEs was the coursework element as I could re-write it, was still prominent in all my A Level courses.

To purely say I was an extreme hard worker, that had zero social life and achieved my 4 A’s at A Level and 1 A at As Level would be lying. Although I did have a job as well of around 15 hours a week, my grades were due to the persistence of my wonderful teachers. I can honestly say I loved every subject I did in sixth form and was probably know to others as a teacher’s pet but whatever, that didn’t bother me, I have always wanted to succeed and do my best (and beat others). I think my enthusiasm won my teachers over to help me a great deal, mainly to mark draft after draft after draft of coursework. I remember my RE teacher and I staying in school till 7pm re-wording my seven and half thousand essay on the ethical and religious debates surrounding euthanasia.

My coursework marks in every subject bumped up my grades which I do believe is why I achieved all A’s as in the exams I tended to freeze up and just babble (not because I was dyslexic I may add, just because I was awful under pressure). My terrible spelling and sentences surely did not make good reading for the marker, but I think although there was no indication I was dyslexic to them, they could see I knew my stuff but failed to execute it in a scholarly coherent way.

Then came the big one – UNIVERSITY! Surpassing all the natural nerves of moving home, living independently and making new friends, my real fear in the first couple of weeks was my spelling during lectures. These great lecture halls of one hundred and fifty people all bunched in together with no room to barely move your elbows scared me so much. This was not because I am claustrophobic or a hygiene freak, but because now everyone from all angles could see my awful spelling and when making friends in class is a must, who would want to be friends with the retard who couldn’t even spell Aristotle or proletariat. Therefore my notes became child –like scribbles, with my hand always covering my work (as normal as I could, without looking like a mad man) as to cover up my writing as also in the back of my head I was thinking “did I spell that word properly?”, “is that two words or one?” I deeply believed I was suffering from lecturephobia not because I was too hung over to crawl out of bed or because the subjects were complete and utter rubbish and a real bore, but honestly because that class would have too many people and the chances someone would sit next to me or directly behind me was real, and I didn’t want them seeing my spelling and thinking “how the hell can you get into a good university and not be able to spell ‘benefits’?”

‘Why was there not the same problem in secondary school for you?’ I hear you ask; well there I had a real close and long friendship which had started in primary school with my friends. We treated my dreadful spelling as a joke, I was embarrassed around them about it, but as they knew I was intelligent as I had had better GCSE results then they had or was in the same high sets as they were. First impressions are a crucial thing when in university and so too is intelligence when a lot of people who go there are pompous, arrogant and judgemental. There measure of intelligence would be on what you were like in the lecture theatre and in seminars, both of which I was completely isolated at the back on the end of the row turning my back and notepad to the side to face away from the person next to me.

My first couple of essays weren’t going well; I kept achieving low 2.2s which for me was irritating and confusing. Here was me with some of the best grades in my school getting some of lowest in university, many a night was spent staring at my cover sheet with the 56% mark circled on it. Then came my year 1 semester 1 exams and wow was I bricking it! My results were for just way too unsatisfactory and knew it was because my spelling and grammar was just at a child’s level. Now I knew something had to be done, this really was my university grade and therefore life’s destiny in the balance.

I then got in contact with my university’s dyslexia service to inquire about a test. After it the lady revealed I was a category C (mild) dyslexic. It felt like the biggest relief was taken off my shoulders, just being told what I had known for some ten years seemed as if I was given new lease of life. Steadily my grades started to improve, the extra time in exams greatly helped my grades and now having a sense of confidence to seek help from the lectures for essays also saw my marks dramatically shoot up.

To say that after I was tested and the university knowing of my extra needs made everything difficult about my dyslexia easy and I ‘never looked back’ is somewhat romantic and movie-like. I did continue to struggle through university and never seriously overcame my shyness in lectures and phobia of people sitting around me or interactive group activities. At that time I did feel what most dyslexics and teachers say should never be thought of when being or talking about dyslexia – but I felt stupid. My housemates and friends I did make were not from my course and eventually could see I struggled with spelling and punctuation, offering to read through my essays as now essays drafts for lecturers to mark was prohibited.

Please all share your experiences

21/10/2011 12:12:20
fookersj (Member)